Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Taking out Frustration and Depression

These past few days has been very stressful and emotional for me. There have been incidents that I never thought would happen. I question things and everything involved in the issue. I was so down and so worn out that I just wanted to give up. The thought of it seems the easiest escape but instead I faced it and all the pain comes crashing into me. I cried several times and hated myself for doing it.

I don't know but I was contemplating on things a while ago when suddenly I noticed the old punching bag hanging at the backyard. I approached it and with all my strenght gave a huge punch and it felt good. I did it eventually several times thinking of the things that pisses me in every punch. Minutes passed and I am still punching the hell out of me. I stopped when I felt pain. My hands is bruising, the skin is pealing and blood is clotting.

Yes, the stupid me didn't wear protective gear before I do all the punches. I was numb and every punch felt good so I didn't notice. Now, I have a worn out soul and a bruised hand. Not a very good combination eh?

I want to distant myself from the pain. My self defense, my sweet escape every time I am in a situation like this. Maybe I'll do it this time. Maybe I'll punish myself even more. I don't know, I am still lost. One thing's for sure, the bruise will sting every time and will remind me of the pain I am feeling now.

The lessons I learned this past few days, never expect because in expecting you face disappointments which will hurt you inside. You're just hurting yourself so don't expect. Also, don't punch without protective gear because your hands will sting every time you wash your hands. >.<

Hope the storm will soon be over. I miss my old self. I miss them.


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